Chairman: Harry Elias a.k.a Shamu,Potter, Fatty, Worst Chairman ever.
Playing position: Centre Mid (attacking-but not at pace), Left wing.
Achievements: Falling over the fence at Marjons, nakedness at the Christmas ball, 1st Team Captain,
Tug, Wandy, Drink off with Spunky and generally surviving tour in Italy. Sole shareholder in Mr. Johns.
Fav' things: Red Dwarf, nice bums.
Pet Hates: Slow drivers (coops), the O.C, giggly girls, films with "the Rock" in.....oh dear.
Tits/Arse: Arse
Vice-Chair: Jon Brooker a.k.a Baby, Brooker, C**t.
Playing Position: Right Wing, Right midfeilder.
Achievements: Some outrageous goals! Some even more outrageous misses ( Cup final Exeter got
the ball to hit the inside of the croosbar from the baseline)
Fav' things: Myself, Playing hockey with the boys, boozing, being Philthys bum chum , getting ruined
Pet Hates: Von ringpiece and his love for his ringpiece.
Tits/Arse: Tits
Club Captain:Steve Weller a.k.a 6X, Stevo.
Playing position: Utility
Achievements: Varsity winning captain
Fav' things: Sleeping drinking eating, duba , Relentlessssssssssss.
Pet hates: Jonno V B, Brooker, Snowball
Tits/Arse: Its all about the tits
1st Team Captain:Iain Beable a.k.a Warney, Waaaaarno, Suicide Bomber, Dirty Greek.
Playing Position: Centre forward, Attacking mid-feilder.
Achievements: Greggers!!! Trying to hide shagging Greggers from the old boys! (rookie). Missing
tour and marjons!!!! Smashing a car window at marjons.
Fav' things: Scarves (batty).
Pet Hates:
Tits/Arse:
2nd Team Captain:Matthew Tite a.k.a Rimmer, Peoples Choice
Playing Position: One of a dynamic midfield trio.
Achievements: Shocking hair, mangina fest on tour, surviving tour, getting dry bummed by Seagull,
claiming free stuff for being essentially retarded, varsity winner 07
Fav' things: Port, being a “Ra”, boats, being outrageous, Stevo, shite aerials, happy hardcore
Pet Hates: Marjons, Bad AIDs, not being able to give banter to the other team
Tits/Arse: Neither, he likes boys
3rd Team Captain:Sam Parker a.k.a Penny
Playing Position: Goal Hanging Mongrel.
Achievements: Surviving Tour 07, Fresher Top Goalscorer for the 3's
Fav' things:
Pet Hates:
Tits/Arse:
Social Secretary - Johnny Hie
Nicknames - Johnny 5, Hie-Tower, Yank & Biscuit Boy
Playing Position - Goalkeeper
Achievements - Nailing many a player, aiding & abetting the recovery of Pricey's stolen hat, wearing leggings on a night out and getting away with it, being an absolute mess after the Mutely Mile, completing the worst dirty in history & passing out at 8.30pm after ISCA game during fresher's week.
Tits or Arse - Tits for sure
Pet Hates - Marjons, Ladies teams for being budget and not coming out, People who don't play games because of lectures - man up!, wet kit & any bars that don't except credit cards.
Date Of Birth - 21.03.1988
Kit Secretary: Chris Perrin a.k.a: Shorty
Playing position: Somewhere on the right-ish.
Achievements: Breaking the union swivel door with Savage, living in London, catching an STI
Fav’ Things: snakey B, being short, being crude/ brash/ naked, various references to bum rape, being a laughing stock, the Roundabout
Pet Hates: Northerners, the French, lederhosen, dead cats. Robins, 5ive
Tits/Arse: Belly button
Tour Secretary: Mike Guy a.k.a: Seagull
Playing position: Right wing- at pace
Achievements: Introducing Amsterdam to his genitals, being a drunken mess, Jailbait, varsity winner 07, chasing a random girl on tour naked with a hard-on, numerous times of talking to girls with his balls out
Fav’ Things: his own body/ being naked, mangina’s, boybands, the age of consent in mexico, talking about hockey girls with their dads listening in Southampton
Pet Hates: liquids that aren’t alcoholic, sharking, window cleaning, robots. febreze
Tits/Arse: Both, at the same time.
Secretary: Michael Stonelake a.k.a Stoney
Playing position: Right/Left mid
Achievements: Receiving the Josh Steel commitment to training award. 3rd team Captain. Beating the scum without even turning up.
Fav' things: Beating the scum
Pet hates: Losing players on the day of a game, Truro's Umpires, Liskard and their umpires (what a bunch of cunts) Being fixtures sec, Southampton Uni x2.
Tits/Arse: Tits
